May 2026 [25-31]
Thor, The Avengers, Iron Man 3, Thor: The Dark World, Captain America: The Winter Soldier
- Thor [2011] - 75
Continuing my descent into madness, I started this week off with one of the few movies in this franchise that was received with the tepidity most of these deserve, but that I recalled being fond of. Thor officially brings the god of thunder roaring into the canon with excellent casting choices, underutilized characters, god-awful cinematography, and one of the only multi-lateral stories in all the MCU. Though I’m not surprised Thor was given the low-mid 7’s it got across the board, I’m still a little disappointed by it, because I think that its story is one the entire franchise could have learned from. I’m pretty sure it’s the only plot [origin or otherwise] that’s told in reverse — As a god of Asgard, Thor begins the film with his powers in tact, losing them part-way through because arrogant, broey blonds aren’t Mjölnir’s type [Himbo muscle-daddy’s are], having to prove himself worthy by gaining both perspective and purpose as the film goes on. It has a conflict that’s [at least slightly] more interesting than “good vs evil”, utilizing a familial struggle with ever-deepening consequences as the crux of its plot, leaving you with people doing bad things, but not necessarily with bad people… A distinction the franchise seems less and less interested in the longer it exists. Though Odin [Anthony Hopkins specifically] is underutilized [treated as only a throwaway catalyst for drama] the main cast is excellent, with Hiddleston stealing the show in all the ways that Loki should. I have plenty of criticisms of this entry as well [hence only a 75], but this short review is already too long… I just really think this could have been great with only a few adjustments, and it’s too bad it wasn’t.
- The Avengers [2012] - 80
Now, talking about movies that I remembered fondly, 2012’s ensemble, The Avengers, wasn’t necessarily one of them. I certainly didn’t dislike it at the time, but I equally certainly wouldn’t have expected to rate it the highest in the franchise up to this point. While it still suffers from extremely stupid plot devices [What do you mean you can’t close the portal because it’s covered in a shield? It’s sitting on flimsy roof spire… Just like… destroy the floor?] and has a couple of lines that make my skin crawl, it also generates such a grand spectacle that it’s easy to look past its weaker points. At only [“only”] 20-minutes longer than anything before it, The Avengers manages to create a new conflict, smash together all the heroes we’ve already met, introduce a new one [sort of], and give everyone meaningful screentime in ways that both exhilarate and build an interesting and uneasy coherency. VFX look mostly excellent here, not really feeling dated even 14-years later [ouch], sound design is… fine, and the set-pieces are so large and encompassing that this movie really lives up to it’s “action-adventure” genre-tag. Maybe I’m already lost in the sauce, but I was genuinely please and impressed with this.
- Iron Man 3 [2013] - 58
Not to worry though, because Iron Man 3 snapped me right back into my senses with a 130-minute jaunt into the pointless, sloppy, and shallow. Following the events of The Avengers, Tony Stark has a newfound ability: Panic attacks. Does the film utilize this in any way to say something grander about combat exposure, or anxiety in general? No. Does it create conflict during any given action scene to add drama to the plot? Also no. Does it… No. Whatever that sentence might end in, the answer is “no”; It’s an entirely pointless and almost insultingly lazy element of the film that’s better omitted than noncommittally explored. But wait, there’s more: We get commentary on how bad actors [literally, heh] can create entire personas to mislead the public, controlling them through fear of a self-created boogeyman… Just kidding again, we’re actually not going to utilize any of that commentary, we’re just going to make it funny. We also won’t deal with the symbology of Stark shedding the Iron Man suits and discarding his mini arc-reactor, nor will we give Pepper any sort of meaningful journey; We’ll just let her end the story exactly where she started, despite pretending like anything that happened in-between counts. Truly the sequel to Iron Man 2’s nascent malignity, Iron Man 3 is basically just a greatest shits album.
- Thor: The Dark World [2013] - 50
As much as Iron Man 3 made me do a swear, Thor: The Dark world somehow manages to upend all of that film’s stupidity, making its 20-minute shorter runtime feel like a days-long director’s cut. There’s some validity to be gained in that nobody else liked Dark World either, but jeeze what an incredibly stupid movie. Though it’s VFX often tilt into the plastic-y garbage this entire franchise falls prey to, there are moments they look absolutely excellent, and both Hiddleston and Hemsworth are still so charming in their characters that not all is lost… I guess. Beyond those minor elements though, this film just tries so hard that nothing it does lands, everything feels forced, anything that doesn’t feel forced feels pointless, and much of what it does almost even seems to erase a lot of what the previous film did. Destroying the teleport device? Doesn’t matter, Loki knows how to get around… And by “get around” we mean, “fly into a mountain somehow nobody else has ever discovered”. “The Odin sleep”? Eh, he woke up from that last movie, it’s unimportant. Frigga actually has a role in this one… Wrong, idiot. There’s lots more examples of things this both creates and eschews, but it’s not an entry there’s any reason to watch or spend any more time on, even for diehard fans.
- Captain America: The Winter Soldier [2014] - 78
Before starting this, if I had to make a top 3 list from memory, it would likely have gone: Winter Soldier, Guardians 1, and Thunderbolts. Having now rewatched Captain America: The Winter Soldier, I don’t think it’s likely to fall out of my top list [even though I gave The Avengers a higher score]… But it is a movie that, like my feelings on Thor, is held back by what it could have been. Fight choreography is brilliant — some of [if not the] best in all the MCU —, with the fights between Cap and Winter being particularly thrilling… But the editing and cinematography of those fights is so jejune and basic that much of their impact is eaten by excessive cuts and boring presentation. The plot around mass surveillance being the only way to preserve liberty and safety is an incredible talking point… But it’s immediately neutered by the film refusing to engage with it, instead choosing to say, “it was Hydra, lol”; Absolving the “good guys” of any accountability. As the enemy’s guns are about to fire, killing hundreds of thousand of targeted “threats” [threats to Hydra] in an instant, Cap locks in the victory, preventing the massacre… Something that, had even just a few volleys occurred, could have had massive in-world implications and created a lasting effect on the heroes themselves, rather than just another “near miss” doomsday situation. This movie still had me exclaiming, “man this is cool,” more than once during its runtime, but I lack the genes to not see the superhero masterpiece this could have been if the MCU was just a little more willing to engage with difficult topics. Boo.
