November 2025 [17-23]
A Knight's Tale, Magpie, Waitress: The Musical, Arcadian, Tremors, The Martian, A Different Man, Don't Breathe, Collateral, 3 Ninjas, Grabbers, Drop, Gone Girl
- A Knight’s Tale [2001] - 74
Brian Helgeland’s anachronistic feudal romantic comedy, A Knight’s Tale, is not particularly well remembered by critics, but certainly strikes a chord if you’re in the right mindset and just want something goofy and fun. Feeling like a hastily written DnD one-shot designed both by and for a group of old friends, there’s not exactly a lot wrong with this story perse… It’s just kind of really silly and doesn’t serve to do much beyond make you feel good by giving you simple characters and clear lines in the sand… Which is not always a bad thing. I was glad to have sat down and watched this again after having not seen it since I was a kid, and I’d definitely recommend it next time you’re after something to turn on while your brain turns off.
- Magpie [2024] - 78
2024’s drama thriller, Magpie, by double-debut director Sam Yates and writer Tom Bateman is a great entry into the “is it/isn’t it” mystery genre, but is doubly impressive when considered within the context of new creators. A fairly simple story about a manipulative relationship made worse by intentional obscurities is elevated by a never better Daisey Ridley and her supporting cast. Brought to intimate life by cinematographer Laura Bellingham, Magpie is a slow-burn story that leaves the viewer slightly conflicted, even if you’re pretty sure you know where you stand on it all by the end. While one probably shouldn’t describe this plot as “fun”, it’s anything but “boring” and leaves you with a “you go girl” finale… Even if you’re not entirely sure about the ethics of certain approaches… Or outcomes. While I’d still turn your attention to 2018’s The Swerve as my favorite debut film in this genre [one of my top 25 films in the last few years in general], Magpie still leaves me very excited for the future of this team and whatever they do next.
- Waitress: The Musical [2023] - 75
Waitress: The Musical is something I’ve been meaning to watch for some time… And by “for some time” I mean that I only learned there was a filmed version of the play a couple months ago, but I’ve been hooked on the soundtrack for like… 7-years. While I ultimately walked away from the experience wanting more from almost every character, there’s still a lot that Waitress: The Musical does well, and it reminds me of a significantly lighter version of Molly Smith Metzler’s knockout hit, Maid. That’s not a knock necessarily [Maid was my 2023 #2 watch so, what’re you gonna do…], but I do think it’s a reasonable comparison in terms of theme and general vibe. Similar to other things I’ve rated in the past, Waitress: The Musical certainly doesn’t do anything wrong, I just trend towards things that are heavier and, besides the interminably devastating She Used to Be Mine, this was just a little lighter in the feels and shallower in the character depth than I wanted.
- Arcadian [2024] - 46
Nicolas Cage in a horror movie? “Hell yeah,” say my memories of Mandy and The Wicker Man [though for entirely different reasons]. However, after spending 92 very long minutes with this wannabe amalgamation of 28 Days Later and It Comes at Night, my memories have instead changed their attitude to “aw man, got me again,” as they remember the hype for Longlegs. The plot for Arcadian [apocalypse, monsters that attack at night, very little understanding of the situation] isn’t bad necessarily — boring and trite maybe, but certainly not insurmountable —, it’s just that the execution of said plot is so pointless and boring that it feels like each subchapter within it was written by an entirely different team than the last with only AI-generated notes for them to go off of. Ideas never go anywhere or are so confusingly communicated that they mean basically nothing, none of the characters are engaging or meaningful, and the only saving grace of the whole production is that the monsters themselves are cool and intriguing… But we know so little about them by the end that we might as well have left them to be entirely imagined the whole time. Other than a couple of scenes featuring the creatures and their spooky snapping jaws, there just isn’t anything here worth even a minute of your time.
- Tremors [1990] - 80
A childhood favorite, I reviewed Tremors in May of 2024 as well, and basically have the same things to say about it here. This movie is great, even excellent in a lot of ways, and doubly so when you take the context of its genre into account. If you’ve somehow never managed this one or just haven’t in a while, check it out when you want a fun little monster movie to have a raucous good time with.
- The Martian [2015] - 83
Nominated for 7 Oscars, I figured 10-years was a long enough time to justify revisiting this adapted screenplay. I largely really liked The Martian and both understand all of its noms, as well as the reasons they stayed only that. I haven’t read the book this is based on, but I can definitely see how a little more development and a little more patience could really elevate this into something truly extraordinary. As a film, I think there might just be a few too many characters and conflicting needs to quite communicate the depth of emotion that something simpler achieves in a similar runtime. That’s certainly not to say that The Martian isn’t emotional, but it is something that I can feel trying to pull me with a little more force than it’s able to generate.
- A Different Man [2024] - 86
David Lynch, eat your heart out. For this movie to have been nominated for an Oscar the year that the man who would have enjoyed it the most exited our world allows this very strange [and often unsettling] journey to serve as an excellent accidental tribute to one of our weirder and more intrepid filmmakers. RIP in peace, Mr. Lynch.
While not his first film, I do think it’s writer/director Aaron Schimberg’s first major release, and what a release it is. A Different Man tells the tale of Edward as he undergoes an experimental surgery to transform his physical persona into something more “normal”. In doing so, however, what is it that he might leave behind? What is it he will become? These questions are answered in strange and absorbing ways that certainly won’t be for everyone, but create such a weird soup that anyone looking for something a little out of the ordinary will be absolutely sated. A film I wouldn’t bemoan anyone for not picking during movienight, A Different Man is certainly one of those strange experiences that I absolutely loved.
- Don’t Breathe [2016] - 40
I really struggle with the “home invasion” genre as a whole, and I don’t do great with vapid “thrillers” either, but Don’t Breathe managed to bore me even within those usual non-preferences. It’s too long, it’s too empty, and it’s too repetitive to really leave a mark or generate any kind of intrigue. Yes, the twist is gross and gives a sort of shock to the whole experience… But like… Ew, just do better. I guess it’s decent as a Ghost House production, but man, if this wasn’t so well received by the community at large, I never would have made it through this horrendously 2-dimensional reverse break-in flick. Yawn.
- Collateral [2004] - 78
I first watched Collateral sometime in high school and didn’t remember anything about it, except a vague sense of enjoying it. Having watched it just this last week, I can confirm that I do, in fact, enjoy it. It’s a little long and the conclusion is a little goofball, but it’s a neat and mostly tight thriller directed by Michael Mann [Heat] and written by Stuart Beattie [Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl]. Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise are a great onscreen duo and the cast of characters that both pursue and interact with them are fun to watch from a 2025 viewpoint. While I’m not sure that I think any part of Collateral is good enough to make anyone’s top 10 list, I do think every part is good enough to be worth your time, and it reminds me most of 2002’s Phone Booth in overall vibe.
- 3 Ninjas [1992] - -
First… we feast. Then… we felony.
Infinitely quotable and absurdly absurd, 3 Ninjas is the most fun I’ve had with a movie… Probably since I’ve started recording what I watch, if not ever. I don’t have any idea how to rate something like this because it’s just… Nonsense? Excellent? Incredibly stupid? Ridiculously fun? I don’t even know what adjectives or expletives to use when talking about this broken, impossible film that somehow manages to be both coherent and insane at the same time. Somehow absolutely nothing in this movie makes even a single lick of sense while it also maintains a plot with [“]reasonable[”] through-lines that [“]work[”] and tell a linear story with clear lines of progression. I’ve never seen anything dumber, but I also struggle to think of many films more genuine, even while being entirely unhinged and gelatinous in both logic or purpose. I don’t know what to do with this one, but there’s something deeply concerning and wildly hilarious about a plot centered on ninjas, kidnapping children, and high-level arms dealing… All wrapped up into a 94-minute “family comedy”.
469/20. What the fuck, 1992…
Light up the eyes, boys.
- Grabbers [2012] - 60
Grabbers is a 2012 horror/comedy along the lines of something like Shaun of the Dead, Tucker and Dale vs Evil, or Unwelcome [these movies being presented in a descending order of quality, with Grabbers falling just ahead of Unwelcome, making it watchable but-only-if-it’s-the-only-thing-on-grandma’s-TV]. The horror/comedy genre is a somewhat difficult one to nail down in general, because both parts of the scene require such different things to work, and films within it largely hinge on the audience’s willingness to have shallow fun, and/or their desire for a simple good time [the name of my Only Fans]. I don’t think that Grabbers fails in either of those regards, but I do think that it requires a particularly high tolerance in both, and struggles to be anything more than either at their most base values. The effects look pretty good for 2012, but the overall experience is lacking any real meat, and I’d turn you towards The World's End as a better entry into the “drunk and dis-horrorly” niche.
- Drop [2025] - 72
As I mentioned above with Don’t Breathe [and I’m sure I’ve mentioned every time I’ve watched one of these, because we <me> here at Cacciatoreviews aren’t programmed to have more than 69 original thoughts], I’m not really a “home invasion” or “thriller” girlie. That said, similar to 2020’s Alone, Drop is super solid as far as those things are concerned. Any tech-based “I can see and hear everything you do” thriller has its hang-ups, but Drop does a mostly good job of suspending your disbelief while featuring some really fun and engaging editing that gives the film a very unique style and flavor. By the end of the whole thing it is still just “another one of those movies” but, like 2022’s Fall, sometimes being “another one of those movies” still makes you worthwhile if whatever that particular flavor is happens to be one your viewers like.
- Gone Girl [2014] - 88
Finishing off the week strong with the excellent and always evolving mystery, Gone Girl, I was glad to have revisited something else I hadn’t seen since it was new. Like other things I’ve talked about, I remembered the twist here and that I liked it, but the details had all fled, and the details of this one really make the experience click. I can’t wait to read the book to see what was changed/ altered, but, regardless of what that outcome is, the film’s take and presentation of its plot is engaging, strange, and extremely fun, reminding me at times of one of my favorite documentaries, The Imposter. Even if you find most mysteries kind of wrote, Gone Girl is one you should check out and something that fits into an interesting space as a kind of time-capsule 11-years after its initial release.
